I barely slept since my water broke. Anxiety, excitement, happiness, and hormones fuelled me. I wanted the world to celebrate with us. With nine months of rigorous effort, our little project was completed and launched on February 19th. It was you, our son Vivaan. I sat down gazing at you in search of the resemblance; the big round twinkling eyes, cute little nose, the satin thread like black hair–smooth and soft, pink cheeks, petal-like red lips, itsy-bitsy fingers trying to reach one of his momma’s. It seemed as if you had the perfect and best features out of us. The touch which I felt when you first slipped into my arms is strong enough to give me goosebumps until today. That was the essence of purity. You’re a year old today so I had to pen down my journey as a gift to you for the incomparable innocence I get to see in your eyes every day. Nothing else can produce that happiness that motherhood allows. It sure does allow you to enter the seventh heaven.
Initially, the process was little tough to go. I used to feed you, soothe you to sleep and then change the dirty diaper. Yes, a kiss was complimentary in each process, which went into a loop with endless sleepless nights. You napped in our bed since day one, as placing you in the nursery and me resting was not my cup of tea. I didn’t have that courage to let you off my eyes even for a second. In sleep, whenever you stirred, I used to pull you gently towards me and you snuggled into me as if you knew it beforehand that “this is my comfort zone.” Everything was different as a new mother but you were my continuous source of strength; with the months of adorable babbling which goes until today. I’m a year old mom now; a promotion from my self-obsessed life to my baby’s obsessed life. Now, I’m waiting when will you crack the language code? Yes, there have been times when I got completely frustrated, battling to set my routine, to adjust with all sorts of transition going in my life. But at the end, when I see my wee tot crawling towards me to seek love; It gears me up. I think this is motherhood, the ability to find joy even when you’re experiencing the hardest trials of life. I can have the worst day but I’m sure that when I’m home, that one warm hug is powerful enough to cheer me up. I love to stop and soak in the world through your curious eyes which give me a chance to see things all new and shiny. You have made me believe that there is a world full of love and innocence besides the self-involved practical world where we live in. You amaze me every day with your little achievements. I feel a proud mom. Motherhood is a challenging phase where you fight everyday with all sorts of odds to make an even space for you and your baby. It feels like walking with all your nerve endings raw and exposed. The most extreme measure of being alive. It’s about commitment and I’m a very committed mother. Every day is a first and you keep on discovering each day as you don’t know what’s in your store today. It has this capacity to metamorphose the miniature, untouchable rain drops into a gigantic hypnotic waterfall. And I can’t imagine my life without that spectrum of emotions.
Motherhood is my greatest achievement. It taught me to sing a lullaby. The beauty and right of a woman are being a mother. I never knew how much a person can love until I became a mommy. I always had this utter desire to relive my childhood which came into real through you. Some people dreams of angels, I hold one in my arms. Now that I have you, I have everything. I love you to the moon and back. Happy Birthday to momma’s peanut.❤
With lots of love,
By Vijayshree Vivek Verma
P.S- Vivaan’s birthday was on 19th Feb.Creative Lichens wishes Vivaan a very happy belated birthday and a beautiful life ahead.God bless you Vivaan.